The Save The Marriage Podcast

Am I Against Therapy?

January 24, 2019, 1:45 am • 22m

I spent way more time in school than I would like.  To be honest, I never enjoyed school.  Not when I was a kid.  Not in high school.  Not in college.  And not in 3 rounds of grad school (2 Master's and 1 Ph.D.). But I spent that time in school because I had a goal.  To be a therapist.  So, I did extensive training, focusing on marriage and family therapy. So why am I critical of therapy? Partly because I have seen it from the inside.  Partly because I have seen the outcome studies of therapy -- particularly marital therapy. Which raises the question:  am I opposed to therapy? The answer:  not in theory.  And not even in some specifics. When couples are ready to make changes, and when they work with a therapist who is specifically trained in marriage and family therapy theory, and who is skilled... the outcome can be excellent. I know many couples who have benefitted.  And I know some pretty amazing therapists. But overall, the stats are not good.  At least, in terms of saving marriages.  1/2 of all marriages that get therapy end up divorced -- the same stat that applies to the general population. There are some specific reasons why therapy often falls short.  Some have to do with therapy/therapist.  Some have to do with clients/couples. I discuss why there are issues in this week's Save The Marriage Podcast. RELATED RESOURCES: How To NOT Save Your Marriage Problems with Therapy What Your Therapist WON'T Tell You How to Guarantee Therapy FAILS If you have tried therapy and it didn't work, or if you don't want to do therapy, please grab my Save The Marriage System

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