Your Anxiety Toolkit

by kimberley@kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com

33m

average length

104

episodes

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Your Anxiety Toolkit aims to provide you with helpful tools to manage anxiety, stress and other emotions that get in the way.

Best Your Anxiety Toolkit episodes upvoted by the community

Last updated on July 05, 2020, 12:56 pm

#1

Ep. 121: How to Live In the Present (Listener Question)

October 04, 2019 • 24m

Do you ever wonder how to live in the present? Is this a question you ask yourself often? Or, have you already got a good mindfulness practice, but you wonder how to live in the present when it comes to intrusive thoughts, intrusive images and strong emotions and urges? If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. I, too, am constantly on a mission to figure out how to live in the present in a more authentic and mindful way. In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we take a CBT SCHOOL listener’s question. A wonderful member of our CBT School community reached out and asked a very important question and instead of replying personally, I thought it would benefit everyone by addressing this question with you all. Considering that I am always on a mission to solve the question of how to live in the present, I thought we could all take a look at this issue together! The listener’s question is:  "I work hard to implement mindfulness in my life, and in many ways it makes sense and helps me. But sometimes I feel like I escape when I try to live in the present moment. It's like my OCD tells me ‘wow, you have learned a new tool…great, but do you know what – if something is contaminated or dangerous it doesn't matter if you try to live in the present moment. You are just kidding yourself!  You have to take care of the problems from yesterday and you have to make sure you have a future to live in. Don't be fooled into that mindfulness stuff…’ My mind gets twisted. Do you have any thoughts that can bring some clarity?” Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful awareness weeks!  BFRB Awareness week is happening NOW and ends on October 7.  You can participate by attending local events, joining the conversation online, and more.  Click HERE for more information. OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.

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#2

Ep.133: Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford

February 13, 2020 • 49m

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the incredible Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she reached out for this interview. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford talks to us about a term coined, perfectly hidden depression. She talks specifically about how it differs from classic depression and she describes for us the ten characteristics of perfectly hidden depression with number 8 being that it often accompanies mental health struggles such as OCD, eating disorders, addictions or anxiety disorders.  The following are those 10 commonly shared characteristics that Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford discusses: You are highly perfectionistic, with a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame.  You demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of responsibility. You have difficulty accepting and expressing painful emotions. You worry a great deal and avoid situations where control isn’t possible.  You intensely focus on tasks, using accomplishment as a way to feel valuable. You have an active and sincere concern about the well-being of others while allowing few if any into your inner world. You discount or dismiss hurt or abuse from the past or the present. You have accompanying mental health issues, involving control or escape from anxiety. You hold a strong belief in “counting your blessings” as the foundation of well-being. You have emotional difficulty in personal relationships, but demonstrate significant professional success. Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford also addresses the Five C’s in the healing process for perfectly hidden depression. I think you will really resonate with the words and concepts discussed in this episode. Thank you Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford for your wonderful work. https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectly-hidden-depression/ https://drmargaretrutherford.com/ https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork/   OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

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#3

Ep. 147: How to Access Your Compassionate Voice

April 30, 2020 • 19m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to share with you one of my favorite topics of all time: how to access your compassionate voice. You may be thinking what exactly does that mean?  Well it means helping you to get in touch with the compassion that lives inside each of you. So often my clients and patients say to me “I don’t know how to access compassion” or “I don’t know what that even feels like.” Here is the thing. Your compassionate voice has always been inside of you, but sometimes other messages are simply louder. If you learn to listen deeply for it than it becomes so much easier to pick up. That little voice inside of you is ready to speak up and it is ready to fill you with a loving sense of self-compassion. During this episode, I walk you through how to begin to access your compassionate voice. You start by closing your eyes, following your breath and asking yourself some questions. These questions help you to tap into your compassionate voice and to start to become familiar with it. First, what does your compassionate voice sound like?  What tone does your compassionate voice speak in? How would you like your compassionate voice to show up for you? How do you relate to your compassionate voice? Finally, what do you need from your compassionate voice?  I really hope you will be open and experiment with this practice. It is such a beautiful exercise and the more you do it, the more you will hear and feel your compassionate voice. Even if it seems unnatural at first, I hope you will still give it a try because it can be really helpful for your mental health. Try viewing it as a type of emotional training. You are giving yourself a tool that one day you may need and then you will have it with you and know how to use it. Remember compassion is not about making the pain go away; rather, it is about meeting your suffering with safety. It is about showing up for yourself during the hard times.  ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

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#4

Ep. 116: Managing Back to School Anxiety (with Dr. Laura Wetherill)

August 30, 2019 • 44m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today we are thrilled to introduce Dr. Laura Wetherill who will be talking about school anxiety.  Dr Laura Wetherill is a Formal Research Scientist, turned full-time mom, who has a gift for doodling and supporting students with their studies and their mental health.  Dr. Laura Wetherill now considers herself an online educator and has so much to share with us about managing school anxiety. During the interview, we address the below questions:  What advice to you have for those who afraid of how stressful the year will be?  How can students manage comparisons (with students who are “smarter” or “more popular” etc.)? Any tips for managing time during the school year?  How can one manage the fear of failing a test or a class?  How can one manage strong feelings of dread and hate towards school?  Dr. Wetherill gathered information on how students are feeling about going back to school and learned a lot about school anxiety and fears: When asked, “How are you feeling about going back to school?” the vast majority reported fears based around friends, exams, time pressures, expectations, etc. We included them for your reference.   Friends/relationships: • Nervous about not having friends in some of my classes. • Worried about losing friends. • Worried about making friends. • Unresolved conflict with friends. • Bullying.  Exam Stress: • Many students worried about coping with stress, anxiety and the pressure around upcoming exam time. • One student is worried that she will panic in the exam room. • Students worrying that they’ve failed their exams and must go back to school with “bad” results (worried they’ve let parents, teachers and themselves down).  General stress: • Scared the year will be too stressful. • Excited for subjects but not about the stress.  Expectations/Not feeling smart enough: • Worried about not meeting entry requirements for A levels. • Worried about not being smart enough and finding it hard when everyone is competing and being compared against one another. • Worried about being unable to cope with the step up in difficulty.  Time pressure: • Not having enough time to learn everything. • Not having enough time to finish resources. • Not having enough time to revise. • Feelings of time running out. • Having to miss the first week of school and then worried about catching up with work.  Predicting Failure: • One student had failed her mocks and is worried that she will fail the real exams. • Students worried that they will fail the exams at the end of this new school year.  Feeling unprepared: • Unprepared for exams. • Unprepared to leave school at the end of the year. • Unprepared for the year ahead. • Some are not sure how to prepare for the year ahead. • Revising hard but feel like it’s not enough. Coping with ongoing medical conditions that disrupt school. • Having a medical condition that means they might not be able to attend school or sit the exams that they would like to sit. • One student was doing half days and they’re worried that this year they won’t be able to cope if they have to do full days. • Making the wrong choices: • Worried that they’ve chosen the wrong subjects or will not enjoy them.  Strong feelings: • “I hate school, I don’t want to go back.” • “My friends p*** me off.” • “I’m terrified”.  New beginnings: • Nervous about starting a new college/6th form/school. • Nervous about starting a new school, in a new country.  For more information on Dr. Wetherill, visit: Instagram:@doctormeclever  Website: doctormeclever.com  Dr. Wetherill and I created a FREE 7-Step resource to help you bust your procrastination habit.  Click HERE for the info.

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#5

Ep. 103: A Journey of Self-Compassion with Ethan Smith

May 31, 2019 • 44m

On today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking all about a journey of self-compassion.  Yep, that’s right!  This is one special episode. This week we are joined by previous guest, Ethan Smith, the national ambassador for the charity called the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF).  Ethan talks all about his new experiences and journey of self-compassion and how he has learned a lot about himself in the past year.  Consider this Chapter 2 of Ethan's story, as he shares his struggles with taking responsibility for what goes wrong in his life and not blaming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for his struggles.  Ethan also shares how he is learning how to cope with “bad” choices and making mistakes and how he was pushed into the practice of self-compassion when he realized he was still under the spell of internalized stigma of mental health.  This is such an important issue and one I want to focus on in the future of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Ethan also shared his journey of self-compassion as he learns how he would internally compare and contrast the mistakes he has made before, during and after treatment. He talked about how recognizing this process has made him realize how hard he really was on himself.  I think we can all resonate with this at times and Ethan beautifully shares his vulnerable and authentic experience. Ethan addressed how he is now learning to cope with unrealistic expectations and how self-compassion has taught him to accept himself as he is.  He talked about how common humanity is a concept that he fought for so long in fear that it will make him complacent and careless.  I am sure you will learn a lot from this episode and I hope that it helps you reflect on your journey of self-compassion.  Before we go, I want to remind you about the upcoming IOCDF conference in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.

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#6

Ep. 90: You Are Not Alone (with Morgan Rondinelli and Molly Fishback)

March 01, 2019 • 43m

Not Alone Notes (Morgan Rondinelli and Molly Fishback) Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. One of the most common statements I get from new clients when I meet them in my office is, “I feel so alone.”   After waiting and being so afraid to finally talk with someone about their mental illness and personal struggles, they are overwhelmed with isolation and loneliness.  The experience of feeling alone and wondering if you are the only one on this planet that is suffering in this way is a common one.   Given the stigma of mental illness, we are often shamed into keeping our mental illness and mental struggles private and suffering in the dark alone.     If you have ever felt this way, or you know someone who feels this way, you are not alone.  In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we talk with Morgan Rondinelli and Molly Fishback about their project called Not Alone Notes.  In this episode, Morgan and Molly share their own stories of feeling alone and unseen in their struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  Together, they joined hands from across the country to send personally painted and written notes to those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s).   My hope after today’s episode is the you begin to understand that you are not alone and there is a whole community out there who wants you to know that they are on your side.    Here is a little blurb from their website:  “The idea from this project stemmed from becoming pen pals with several friends from OCDcon. Morgan was writing back and forth with them and wanted to somehow reach out to strangers with OCD. Morgan loves snail mail because there is something special about receiving a handwritten letter, so she wanted to pass that on to others. In October of 2017, it started simply as a link to a Google Form on Morgan’s blog. Shortly after, Molly reached out to Morgan with the idea of handmaking notecards for the project. Not Alone Notes has continued to grow as Molly and Morgan work together to send letters to individuals with OCD and related disorders.”  In this episode, Molly and Morgan get really vulnerable and showcase proof that you are not alone. They talk about their own recovery journey, what it was like to begin Exposure and Response Prevention treatment, and how it feels to be at different stages of recovery.   In effort to ensure that you are not alone in this mental health journey, Morgan and Molly also share their specific steps of ERP and how they are getting creative with ERP. To learn more about Not Alone Notes, visit: https://www.notalonenotes.org/ Before we go, I want to talk about my upcoming exciting weekend in Colorado at the OCD Gamechangers event that Chrissie Hodges is putting on. I will be speaking alongside other licensed clinicians on important topics about OCD recovery.  OCD advocates will take the stage to discuss the emotional impact that OCD has had on their recovery.  The event takes place on Saturday, March 2.  Click HERE for more information on the event or to get tickets.

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#7

Ep. 64: Don't Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath

August 30, 2018 • 45m

Don't Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath Welcome back to YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST! We have some SUPER exciting news this week.   We are offering a NEW and FREE training called “The 10 Things you absolutely need to know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).”  This webinar will be great if you are new to OCD and looking for some direction.  It will also be a fantastic refresher into the key concepts of OCD treatment, if you are already on your road to recovery.   If you are interested, click HERE to check it out. Next piece of exciting news! ERP school will be here in less than ONE WEEK!  Heck yes!!  Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is an online course for those who don’t have access to a therapist who practices ERP and science-based skills for OCD.  I will be talking a lot about this in the next few weeks, as the doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6th, 2018 until September 20th, 2018.   Keep it in mind that this course will only be available to purchase during that time.    ONE WEEK!!  It is right around the corner and I could not be happier and more excited. Do you ever feel like you are doing the same thing, over and over, with no change in result?  You realize your fruitless outcomes and you decide you are going to try harder this time.   You might even make a pact with yourself that you will NEVER do that one thing again and you promise yourself that this is the time it will be successful. But, just like last time, you get the same result and you are left feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.   Well, if this is you, this episode is going to change some things for you. This week we have a wonderful interview with Patrick McGrath, Ph.D., who is a psychologist based out of Illinois specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders.  In addition to being the president of a private practice group called Anxiety Centers of Illinois, Patrick McGrath is also the Clinical Director of the AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital's Center for Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Program and President of OCD-Midwest, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. I met Patrick at the IOCDF Conference and we immediately hit it off and agreed to do an impromptu interview.   It was so much fun!  You might even notice it was more of a conversation than an interview, but I loved it and was so thrilled to hear Patrick’s wisdom.  If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) course, Patrick’s talk today might help motivate you towards that goal.  He beautifully talks about how to DON’T TRY HARDER, TRY DIFFERENT and this is definitely a concept you have to consider when starting ERP. Patrick also discusses the steps his clients need to know to move towards a “Don't try harder, try different” approach.  Click HERE for more information on his stress management workbook titled Don't Try Harder, Try Different and HERE for more information on his book titled The OCD Answer Book: Professional Answers to More Than 250 Top Questions about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did! If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) online course for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), click HERE.

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#8

Ep. 104: Honor Your Hard Things

June 07, 2019 • 16m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today is a little different.  I was all ready to record a podcast and all of a sudden, I put that podcast episode on hold and just spoke from the heart.  I just wanted to talk directly to you and remind you to honor your hard things.  I know when things are hard and you are struggling, it feels like you have no choice but to give up, but again, always honor your hard thing. In this episode, I share about a recent “hard thing” I did with my daughter.  I shared how surprised I was by how hard it was and emphasized that we do not honor the hard things we do enough.  My goal was to address how we compare our struggles in mental health with others who do not have the same struggles.  Because of this, we don’t honor the hard things you are doing (which is a lot).   In addition, we judge ourselves for struggling and we make it hard on ourselves when things are already hard.  My hope with this episode is to help you along to honor every hard thing you do.  My hope is that it gives you a moment to celebrate the work you are doing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Depression, Panic Disorder, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) and Eating Disorders.  It is hard work and I honor your hard things.   Before we go, I want to remind you about the upcoming IOCDF conference in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.

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#9

Ep. 57: Mindfulness Skills to Enhance Value-Based Living

July 13, 2018 • 14m

Value-Based Living   Hello there CBT School Family Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. As you may know, each week I do my best to bring you a new tool or idea for you to put in your toolkit, in hope that it will give you some skills to manage anxiety, panic and other difficult thoughts, feelings and sensations. I always envision that I am slowly handing you one tool after another and that you are carefully packing those tools into your toolkit or tool belt, so that you feel ready to face your day, with or without anxiety. This week, I want to discuss with you your metaphorical toolkit; the box or belt in which you hold dear to your heart and use daily to help you live your best life.   The most important thing to understand in today’s podcast is that carrying a tool belt/toolbox/toolkit is a choice.  Every week, you freely join me for a weekly discussion about recovery and living a great life, while having anxiety.   You don’t have to carry your toolkit and all the tools around.  Many choose not to carry a tool belt or any tools.  But you, you do.  It’s pretty cool if you ask me. You see, the tools your put in your toolkit are your mindfulness skills.   Your toolkit, the place you hold these tools, is your values.  If you are on a mission to be a better human, you obviously value your wellbeing.  It is a value that you stand by.  You value your recovery.  You value your quality of life.  Using these tools of yours contributes to value-based living. Values are very important to our recovery.  The only problem is, that sometimes fear can come in and stomp all over our values.  Sometimes fear can lead us away from our values and away from our toolkit.  Sometimes fear can lead us towards other problematic behaviors, such as compulsions including checking, counting, avoidance, reassurance seeking and mental rumination.  Fear can also lead us towards anger and saying mean things to ourselves. Today, we talk about identifying our values and ways to use the tools you have to help you lead with values.  We use concepts from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, also knows as ACT.  ACT is a very helpful treatment modality that beautifully compliments Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP). I hope you find it helpful! Forward we go, Kimberley

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#10

Ep. 95: Love vs. Fear with Catherine DeMonte

April 05, 2019 • 37m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have someone who is very dear to my heart: Catherine DeMonte. Over a year ago, I had the privilege of joining a women’s group called an Abundance Group, run by Marriage and Family Therapist, Catherine DeMonte. Catherine was so inspiring to me and gave me some of the tools I needed to get me inspired and motivated to create CBTschool.com. That’s right you guys! Catherine was one of the people who stood next to me as I cultivated the seed of CBTschool.com.  For that, I am forever grateful. In Catherine DeMonte’s abundant circles, I learned how to lead with love, not fear. While this was a concept I already knew, Catherine helped me to put this into play as I created CBTschool.com and created a life that lined up with my values.  Catherine has such a beautiful heart and a beautiful way of speaking in a compassionate and gentle way. In this interview, she delivers tools that will help you tap into the wonderful beauty of your heart and create a life you really want. She talks about love vs. fear. Catherine talks about what it's like to lead with love vs. fear. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, Catherine talks to us about being open to receiving love and health and compassion and support.  She shares with us some of her amazing tools that she has included in her upcoming book, Beep! Beep! Get Out Of My Way! Catherine De Monte also talks about involving deep desire to the hard work that you’re doing with Exposure and Response Prevention and she teaches us how to practice grace and gratitude as we work towards our anxiety recovery. I very much love this episode and I hope you do too. Lastly, I want to remind you about an upcoming event that I am thrilled to be speaking at: OCDeconstruct!   OCDeconstruct is a free online conference designed to give those with OCD, and their loved ones, the information needed to understand key concepts related to the disorder so they can get a productive start on treatment. During the conference, six therapists will present on topics including intrusive thoughts, ERP, family dynamics, medicine and more. OCDeconstruct happens on Saturday, April 13 and will run about 4 hours.  To sign up directly, click HERE.

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#11

Ep. 134: Giving and Receiving Meditation

January 31, 2020 • 14m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. This week’s episode was exactly what I needed and I wondered if it was what you needed too. In today’s episode, I am going to share with you my favorite self-compassion tool, giving and receiving.  This is a meditation that I learned from Christopher Germer himself. Christopher Germer is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and the genius behind many of my favorite self-compassion exercises.  In today’s episode, we are going to learn the art of giving and receiving. No, not gifts. We are going to learn the art of giving and receiving self-compassion. I often use this meditation after a long day in the office or after a hard day, so I hope it helps you too.  This is the 3rd core meditation of the MSC course. Giving and Receiving Compassion builds on the previous two core meditations: Affectionate Breathing which focuses on the breath and Loving-Kindness for Ourselves which focuses on the layering of compassionate words or images onto the breath. The new element of breathing in for oneself and out for others helps the practitioner to practice compassion through connection by loving others without losing oneself. Students tend to find this meditation both easy and enjoyable. Thank you, Christopher Germer, for this wonderful meditation. Instructions for Giving and Receiving Meditation: Please sit comfortably, closing your eyes, and if you like, putting a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder to bring not just awareness, but loving awareness, to your experience and to yourself. Taking a few deep, relaxing breaths, notice how your breath nourishes your body as you inhale and soothes your body as you exhale. Now, letting your breathing find its own natural rhythm, continue feeling the sensation of breathing in and breathing out. If you like, allow yourself to be gently rocked and caressed by the rhythm of your breathing. Now, focusing your attention on your in-breath, let yourself savor the sensation of breathing in, noticing how your in-breath nourishes your body, breath after breath….and then releasing your breath. As you breathe, breathing in something good for yourself…whatever you need. Perhaps a quality of warmth, kindness, compassion, or love? Just feel it, or you can use a word or image if you like. Now, shifting your focus to your out-breath, feeling your body breathe out, feeling the ease of exhalation. Please call to mind someone whom you love or someone who is struggling and needs compassion. Visualize that person clearly in your mind. Begin directing your out-breath to this person, offering the ease of breathing out. If you wish, intentionally send warmth and kindness - something good -to this person with each out-breath. Now letting go of what you or the other person may need, and just focusing on the sensation of breathing compassion in and out and sending something good. “In for me and out for you.” “One for me and one for you.” If you wish, you can focus a little more on yourself, or the other person, or just let it be an equal flow—whatever feels right in the moment. Or you can send something good to more than one person. Allowing your breath to flow in and out, like the gentle movement of the sea - a limitless, boundless flow - flowing in and flowing out. Letting yourself be a part of this limitless, boundless flow. An ocean of compassion. Gently opening your eyes. OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely's amazing blog post about the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD.” https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/

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#12

Ep. 69: Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert)

October 05, 2018 • 45m

Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert) This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is going to blow your mind!  Yes!  You better believe it! If you have been thinking you should start a self-compassion practice for yourself, THIS is the episode for you.  Today we are going to discuss everything you need to know about self-compassion. This week I am so honored to talk with Paul Gilbert, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and Consultant Clinical Psychologist at the Derbyshire Health Care Foundation Trust. Paul Gilbert is what I consider a Self-Compassion and Shame “Guru.”  We all know shame and we all know how difficult shame can be when it comes to Anxiety Disorders, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), such as Trichotillomania (hair pulling) and Dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking).  Paul shares with us his beautiful insight and understanding of the human brain and how to apply self-compassion in our daily living.  So much of what Paul has to say compliments the discussions we have had on the podcast already. Professor Gilbert performed psychopathology research for over 35 years with a special focus on shame and the treatment of shame-based difficulties. Paul Gilbert was the founder of Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) and I am certain you are going to LOVE what he has to say.  Paul Gilbert has written and edited 20 books and established the Compassionate Mind Foundation in 2006. He was awarded an OBE in March 2011. During this interview, Paul shares everything you need to know about self-compassion. Paul explains his work and research on self-compassion and how he came to practice and develop Compassion-Focused Therapy.  Paul addresses why he thinks we are so hostile or self-critical towards oneself and what he considers the most important tools for practicing self-compassion The most beautiful part of this podcast episode is that we ALL need to be better at practicing self-compassion. As a reminder, it's BFRB Awareness Week (October 1-7)!  Click here for more information on BFRB School, which is a complete online course for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB's). Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up from October 7-13!  OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego.  Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.

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#13

Ep. 150: Learning to Trust Yourself

May 22, 2020 • 12m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are going to talk about a really important topic: learning to trust yourself.  Trust is so important for our feelings of safety and security. So often I hear from people who are experiencing anxiety and depression that they do not trust themselves. Today I want to share with you all a metaphor about trust, that I love, and I think it will help you conceptualize how to look at trust. This is a metaphor that Brene Brown has talked about a lot. She said that when you meet somebody they have an empty jar (metaphorically) and overtime as they show you in little ways, it might be their consideration, their respect for you, maybe they remembered your birthday, perhaps they sent you a little care package, every time they do something nice for you one marble is placed in the jar. If they do another small thing, you put another marble in the jar and overtime that jar fills up. This is how we experience a sense of trust for that person. Trust is something that grows and it often doesn’t come from the big things. It comes from the teeny tiny things. Maybe a little smile when you are having a hard time, or checking in with you, or holding a safe place for you when you are struggling. So, now that we have that conceptualization that trust is something we build over time, we also need to recognize that when somebody has let us down the marbles may come out. Maybe half the marbles. Maybe all the marbles. Perhaps just one. We can always grow trust back even if someone has betrayed us. If we want to build that trust back up, this involves giving the person a second chance. Often when someone has been very seriously betrayed, they make the choice, "I don't want to trust that person. I don't want to ever put myself in that position again.” Whereas other people might say, “well I love this person. I'm willing to take the risk.”  Now, this applies to ourselves too. You begin learning to trust yourself based on the small acts that you do for yourself. It's about taking care of yourself, making sure you're well-fed, making sure you're listening to your body. When you're frightened, it's about doing the hard thing instead of the easy thing. Every time we do that we are saying, “I've got your back unconditionally even during the difficult times.”  Now, just like I said before if you betray yourself, you ignore your needs, and put yourself down, you take out some of those marbles. If I've let a friend down or my partner down or my child down, I will intentionally try to regain their trust, and I'll do it in very small ways. I will be there for them, be kind to them, show up for them. This is the case for myself as well. If I have let myself down, I will need to show up in small ways with the intention that I want to trust myself.  A lot of the time, when I'm doing hard work in therapy with clients, they back down because they tell themselves, “I can't do this. I can't.” I tell them this is a matter of trust. You think you can't because you haven't in the past. This is a part of the process of learning to trust yourself, and it's an intention that you need to work on every day. Through those small acts, you'll get there. There will be days when you lose marbles. We all make mistakes, but we can all stand up and make the intention to build trust again for ourselves. It has to be unconditional. That is where our long-term wellness can benefit. So, I'm going to challenge you to think about how full your jar is for the people around you and the one for yourself and then ask yourself how intentional you are about building up that jar of trust. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

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#14

Ep. 135: The Phases of Treatment (With Jeff Goldman)

February 06, 2020 • 43m

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Jeff Goldman, a Hollywood executive and the Director of Development for OCD Southern California. In this interview, Jeff shares his very vulnerable story of being tormented by OCD and how it has impacted his family and his career. Jeff shares his highs and lows with us in his very inspirational and honest story.  In this interview, Jeff Goldman shares his story of having “Just Right” OCD and how the fear of being a failure caused him to become paralyzed with anxiety. Jeff explains that he was diagnosed with OCD at 17 yrs old and has had a long, but inspirational journey to wellness.  Jeff discusses his struggles with facing treatment and how he needed a lot of support and motivation to work on his mental health. He shares, “I was afraid of changing in spite of hating my life." What comes after that is a recovery story that includes medication, therapy, and family support.  Some of the tools Jeff uses to help manage his OCD are “you have to name it to tame it”, “feel the pain” and “let the anxiety flood through your body."  Thank you so much to Jeff Goldman for sharing his amazing story! Jeff Goldman, Director of Development, OCD SoCal (an affiliate of the IOCDF) https://ocdsocal.org/ https://iocdf.org/ jeffgoldman.livingwithocd@gmail.com OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

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#15

Ep. 118: A Liberated Mind (with Steven Hayes)

September 13, 2019 • 48m

I am honored to have Steven C. Hayes, author of A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Towards What Matters, back on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. He was on Ep. 83 and is joining us again! There is nothing that makes me happier than to chat with Steven Hayes about the unbelievable work he is doing and I cannot tell you how much I adored his most recent book. In this week's podcast episode, Steven Hayes addressed how we can reach a liberated mind by improving psychological flexibility and moving away from psychological rigidity.  Not only does Hayes address these important topics using a combination of science and reason, but he also discussed how we can access a liberated mind by practicing compassion and kindness, and by seeking out our own set of values. During this conversation, we touched on some really difficult topics including suicidal ideation, immigration, global warming and other issues that impact the state of the world. Steven Hayes does such a beautiful job teaching us how we can reach be more open to our suffering and be open and flexible with other people’s suffering.  Steven Hayes also addresses how we overuse problem-solving with our emotions. He talks about how we can create our own “hero’s journey” by choosing a path that feels liberating and freeing, instead of one that is powerless and rigid.  For more information on Steven Hayes, click below: Website: https://stevenchayes.com/ TedX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppg To purchase his most recent book: https://www.amazon.com/Liberated-Mind-Pivot-Toward-Matters-ebook/dp/B07LDSPRYM A book freebie:https://stevenchayes.com/a-liberated-mind/ Steven Universe video - "Here Comes a Thought": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHg50mdODFM

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#16

Ep. 79: How to Thrive and Survive The Holidays

December 14, 2018 • 28m

How to Thrive and Survive The Holidays Happy Holidays Everyone! Well, the holiday season is here and if you’re anything like me, you’re feeling slightly overwhelmed and stressed because of all you have to do, and all of the emotions that go along with the holidays. This is a common time of the year where we can experience very high emotions such as joy, happiness and excitement, but we also experience a lot of difficult emotions such as fear, panic, depression, hopelessness, grief and loneliness. Given that this is such a universal experience during the holiday period, we thought it was a great opportunity to bring on Alison Seponara who is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania to talk about How to Thrive and Survive the Holidays.  This episode is particularly important if you are also managing a mental illness or other psychological stressors. It is not uncommon for anxiety and depression to worsen during the holiday period, so we wanted to be sure to bring you multiple tools to help you Thrive and Survive the Holidays. In this interview Alison and I talk about important topics that can really impact our mental wellness during the Holiday season.  In this podcast, we address the following: Grief and how the holidays can bring up grief you were not expecting Anxiety and how it is often increased due to the stress of the holiday period and the presence of triggering family members Social anxiety and how it can cause us to dread the holiday period The fear of saying no to family members and events that you don’t think are healthy for you to attend The financial struggles that go along with the holidays The overwhelming expectation to feel nothing but joy and celebration The most important point Alison and I made during this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL BAD IF YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING THE HOLIDAYS.  Alison made some great points in reassuring you that it is ok and totally normal to struggle instead of feeling festive.  I hope you find this podcast helpful and you now feel ready to thrive and survive the holidays. IG: @therapywithali FB: Alison Seponara https://www.alisonseponara.com/

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#18

Ep. 138: 10 Things I have learned about Recovery (with Katy Marciniak)

February 27, 2020 • 46m

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have the incredible Katy Marciniak talking about the “10 things I have learned about recovery”. Katy is open and honest and vulnerable in this episode and I cannot respect her more. She has really shown us how possible recovery is, but she is also honest about the ups and the downs.  Here are the main points Katy covers. * At first if you don't succeed, try, try again. * There is not set time frame for recovery or for therapy. Take your time and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. * Vulnerability is your friend! You might not think it is, but it will help you get through the ups and the downs of recovery. * Its okay! It’s okay if you are anxious. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are angry. It is okay if you are struggling. These feelings do not make you bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean you are not moving in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for having a mental disorder or for needing therapy. Therapy does not mean you are weak or faulty. * There is freedom in not knowing. Having uncertainty, while it feels bad, is a good thing and will make you stronger. * Do not isolate yourself. And you are not alone. Try to find a group of people who are just like you and are going through something similar. A great option would be to join our private Facebook group called CBT School campus! * Live in the moment. It might sound like a catch phrase, but you can actually learn how to stay present and not get caught up in the future and the past. * Don’t knock self-compassion! It will help you in ways you cannot even imagine. * Going to therapy will not solve all of your problems. You must be willing to do the work at home, at work and in your relationships. * Give yourself the credit you deserve. You are going through a lot and you are so strong. Instagram @navigatinguncertainty Katy's Blog: https://navigatinguncertaintyblog.wordpress.com/about/ Today is the day!!!! ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients.  https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD.  During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://www.cbtschool.com/10things OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

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#19

Ep. 131: Does Khloe Kardashian Have OCD?

January 10, 2020 • 27m

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  There has been a lot of talk lately in the OCD Community surrounding this big question “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I know a lot of you are really struggling with this topic, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood.  In a recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe’s mom, Kris Jenner discussed her daughter Khloe’s overwhelming need to be organized. She shared, “Khloe is the most organized, cleanest, most obsessive person I know in her own home. But lately, she’s on another level.” In response, Khloe explained: "Being the control freak that I am, this experience is torture”. However, she also has been known to explain her need to be organized as “a good thing” and something that “helps” her in her life.  This brings us to the big question: Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?  Well, the most important thing to remember in this podcast episode is that we cannot diagnose someone we haven’t met. Please keep this in mind as we address this very important topic.  In an effort to do my due diligence, I consulted with an attorney on this and he confirmed that it is not appropriate to diagnose someone you haven’t met. He reported that this is an ethical issue, not a legal issue.  One of the big questions that arose after this recent Kardashian episode was, “Can you treat someone you haven’t diagnosed?” Again, when consulting with an attorney, we revealed that a therapist technically can in situations where it is not necessary to diagnose someone. However, in order to implement a treatment tool, it is a good standard of care to do a full assessment to be sure the treatment modality and related tools are appropriate for the person we are meeting with.  In an effort to discuss if Khloe Kardashian has OCD and if her description of symptoms and presentation of symptoms meets criteria to be OCD, we would first need to have a good understanding of what OCD is diagnostically.  In the episode, we discuss in depth the Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in an effort to thoroughly educate and advocate for those who have OCD and who are struggling to ask for help.  Diagnostic Criteria (Directly from the DMS 5) A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2): Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts. B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition. It is important that we specify if the symptoms are accompanied by good, fair or poor insight, as this can help us differentiate between the diagnosis of OCD and other mental illnesses that may look the same. With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true. With poor insight: The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true. With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true. D. The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder, differential diagnosis or set of symptoms In an effort to really give you a good understanding of other diagnostic possibilities for someone showing similar, but not exact symptoms, I wanted to address some symptoms and disorders that would need to be RULED OUT before treatment. The reason for this is that small differences in the symptoms may drastically change the course of correct treatment. This is a crucial part of the assessment process, done by a therapist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or psychiatric nurse.  The first is perfectionism which can be divided into two categories, adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is a type of perfectionism that improves the quality of someone’s life while maladaptive perfectionism negatively impacts a person's life. Research has shown that both adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists have high personal standards, but failing to meet those standards can have a negative impact.  Perfectionism can also be categorized by orientation. Self-oriented perfectionism is perfectionism that is pushed by the individual person. Self-oriented perfectionists are very hard on themselves, set very high standards for themselves and have rules and expectations that are often unreasonable. Socially prescribed perfectionism is perfectionism that occurs due to societal expectations. This might include the expectation to get good grades in order to have a good life or having to have the “perfect” body to be loved.  It is also important that we address the similarities and differences between OCD and OCPD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), OCPD is explained as "a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency." People with OCPD have an unhealthy expectation of achieving perfection and have an excessive devotion to work at the expense of leisure time and close personal relationships. They are often inflexible with issues related to ethics and morality and can be seen as judgmental and expect others to live to the same standard.  So, when answering the question, “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I encourage us all to do our best to continue to educate others on the differences between OCD, levels of insight related to OCD, perfectionism, and OCPD. I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely's amazing blog post about this exact issue, mostly addressing the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD” https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/ References used in this podcast https://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-the-difference-between-ocpd-and-ocd-and-how-are-they-treated

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#20

Ep. 98: Three Mindfulness Basics for Anxiety and Depression

April 26, 2019 • 22m

Three Mindfulness Basics for Anxiety and Depression Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Do you ever feel like you have to go back to basics?  Maybe you feel overwhelmed with all the “tools” and strategies you need to practice to manage your anxiety, obsessions, compulsions, and emotions.   Maybe you are feeling like you need to simplify your mental health practices so that you only have a few things to manage instead of many.  If you are feeling this way, you are not alone.  I recently realized that I had to return back to some mindfulness basics and review the tools that helped me many years ago.   In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I talked about the 3 mindfulness basics for anxiety and depression that you must return to when you are struggling with anxiety, stress, life events, depression, and grief.   In this episode, we talk about how we sometimes refuse to go back to the basics because we are afraid it means we are “going backward.”  We dispel this myth and address how these 3 mindfulness basics for anxiety and depression can recharge our mental health plan and practice. If you'd like to learn more about mindfulness skills that I teach my face-to-face clients who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), we have an online course available on CBTschool.com called Mindfulness School for OCD. Click HERE to learn more and sign up. Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful upcoming events!  The TLC Foundation will host their annual conference on Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors from May 2-4 in Virginia.  Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.  Also, the IOCDF Annual Conference will be held in Austin, Texas, from July 19-21.  I will be speaking at this event and love seeing you there!  Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.

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