The Art of Charm

by The Art of Charm

47m

average length

811

episodes

23

followers

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

Best The Art of Charm episodes upvoted by the community

Last updated on September 22, 2020, 9:00 pm

#2

362: Harville Hendrix | Getting the Love You Want

January 05, 2015 • 53m

You chose your partners for a reason. "The bottom line for great relationships is you have to know how to deal with differences." -Harville Hendrix The Cheat Sheet: What is zero negativity and how do you use it in a relationship? Imago: what is it and why should you bother to care? Only 10% of the married population is in a healthy, happy marriage: true or false? Why arranged marriages have historically worked better than love matches. What roles do safety and curiosity play in a healthy relationship? And so much more... Have you ever wondered why you choose the partners you chose in relationships? Or why so many people seem to fall in love, only to be miserable with each other down the road? Harville Hendrix joins us today to answer these questions, and the psychology behind why relationships work or don't work out. Harville is a relationship expert, therapist, coach and author of several books including Getting The Love You Want. He joins us to chat about all of this and much more on episode 362 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: For over 35 years Harville Hendrix has worked in the field of relationships. In that time he and his wife Helen have worked with countless couples on how to communicate better and stay connected. In that time they've found what works and what doesn't work to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. Harville says in order to understand why some connections last and others don't, we need to first understand why we are drawn to the people we are drawn to. Doing so will help us work within our relationships so we're actually getting the love we want. When we're infants we create an image of our caretakers and we're left with an imprint that tells what needs were met, and what needs were not. We create what's called an "imago" when we do this. This becomes our basis for what we seek in a partner. In other words if we had a need that wasn't met by our caretakers (and most of us had some need or many needs), then we actively look for that fulfillment from someone just like our caretaker. At first that might sound illogical (why not just seek someone who can give us what we didn't get and not a replica of the person who didn't give it to us in the first place?), but Harville says we do this so we can create growth for ourselves with that person. And we attract someone who needs something we can't fulfill for them, so we can create a growth opportunity for them in return. But what typically happens is we fall in romantic love, the love blooms and our visions are colored by dopamine and endorphins so we think everything is rosy and perfect. Til one day the dopamine wears off and we see the other person as they truly are. And then we get frustrated that they aren't meeting our unmet needs and they get defensive when we try to talk about these needs, because we don't know how to effectively communicate without triggering the other person. So instead of effectively working on these difficulties, most people either give up and break off the relationship or end the marriage. In most cases we do this because we haven't learned how to talk to each other in a way that creates a safe space for the other person. We try to ask for what we need, but take a position of authority and a defensive tone that simply leads to our partner becoming defensive in return. To rectify this and to create a safe relationship to thrive in, Harville has a few suggestions. And these are suggestions he has witnessed work for countless couples, it's the basis for his practice, his books and his programs. There are three things we need to do to create a safe relationship where both people can discuss their needs. The first is to learn how to talk. Instead of our usual monologue, which is how most people speak, we need to have a dialogue. And in this dialogue we need to respect our partner's differences and points of view; they should be mirrored, validated, listened to and empathized with. We can also set aside specific time to discuss relationship topics and instead of asking "are you done?", always ask your partner "is there more?". The second thing we can do is to have a zero negativity process. In a zero negativity relationship all conversations you have you affirm your partner as different with the right to their opinions. You don't make them bad because they are different or devalue them because of those differences. This helps create a safe environment where differences can be expressed from both of you. Thirdly affirm each other on a daily basis. Harville and his wife Helen say three things about each other that they appreciate every day. And these are things that happened that day. It's an affirmation process or a gratitude practice for your relationship. This actually helps your brain create new neural pathways and you'll see your partner in a new light. Your partner becomes a source of gratitude, happiness and joy for you instead of a sore spot. There's a plethora of additional relationship and marriage tools and advice in this episode with Harville. He was a terrific guest to have on who shared SO much information, get ready for it when you listen! Thanks for being here Harville, and special thanks to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS HARVILLE HENDRIX! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Harville know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Harville on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Harville Hendrix's web siteHarville Hendrix on TwitterGetting The Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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#3

Fan Mail Friday #29 | Thanks for That Challenging Viewpoint

September 25, 2015 • 20m

"What men and women did to each other was beyond comprehension." -Charles Bukowski Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #29! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! In this episode: A new listener wants to know why we even have Fan Mail Friday. If we don't answer this to the satisfaction of any other listeners out there -- veterans or newcomers -- we'd like to hear from you! Show of hands: who in our audience is being kept at home against their will in the 21st century United States? (Let us know and we'll send a rescue party composed of your gender of choice at once!) Hey, you can talk crap about rampaging gunmen, ISIS, gang members, and racists all you want, but what did coal miners ever do to you? Risk life and limb to provide energy for you and your family so you wouldn't freeze and starve during the long winters? You're welcome. The only thing we're professionally embarrassed about is that it sometimes takes a controversial guest to provoke a big reaction. We appreciate all feedback -- whether good or bad -- but why do some long-time listeners remain silently supportive until they hear something they don't like? If you generally like what we do, we can always use positive reviews in iTunes and Stitcher. Please email jordan@theartofcharm.com for instructions if you're wondering how! "That had not occurred to us, Dude." There's no guarantee that the transition from working a stable day job to becoming a full-time entrepreneur is ever going to be 100% safe, but there are considerations you can make and precautions you can take to ensure it goes as smoothly as possible. Some people use resources from The Art of Charm resources to escape the humdrum and pursue the lives they want -- and Marlon is one of our favorite examples. He reminds us why we do what we do. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-29-thanks-for-that-challenging-viewpoint/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming!

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#5

Fan Mail Friday #78 | Hard Problems

September 02, 2016 • 14m

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you go back to your long-term marriage that needs work once you've become infatuated with someone who reminds you of all the things your partner is not? As we learned in episode 499 with Kimberly Seltzer, boundaries are imporant. But how do we know if we're closing ourselves off with too many boundaries? If you're an educator who's had to make countless compromises, it's hard not to become jaded when work politics hamstring the passion that got you into your field in the first place. Is there a way to realign your perspective and avoid the mounting bitterness you've been feeling about your job before you just leave it all behind for good? Some fan mail we get goes beyond the scope of our expertise, and we have to recommend professional help. Kimberly Seltzer gets another mention here for her in-depth episode about how to find a therapist. We wholeheartedly encourage everyone who listens to this show to put a plan of action in place and stick to it. Start small, as even the tiniest daily improvement will snowball into a core-level identity shift that will improve your life and the lives of those around you forever. A quick shoutout to Brandon Monk, the woodworker in L.A. who made my new audio desk -- which is amazing! It's all solid walnut. Hand made. It's absolutely beautiful and is officially the nicest piece of furniture I have ever owned. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-78-hard-problems/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#6

400: AoC Toolbox | Moving to a New Town

May 06, 2015 • 59m

Boom. Episode 400! Meet and connect with the right kind of people. "Everyone entering your life on a social level is an opportunity to grow your network." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: The four groups you need to have in your life. How to get introduced to a cute girl's friends. Opportunities for adding value and how to spot them. One specific tip to meeting your neighbors. How social media can help you chose your new friends. And so much more... One question we get asked frequently is how to make new friends when you move to a new place. This question goes hand in hand with our advice to surround yourself with people you want to be like. And today's episode gives you practical advice on how to do just that. Whether you're moving somewhere new, have already moved or simply want to expand your social circle, this show will explain the four groups you need to have in your life, how to find those groups, and run people through a "social sales funnel". Listen in for all of that and more on the 400th episode of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: The axiom of "you become the five people you spend the most time with" is one of core teachings of this show. Today we'll share with you how to meet more people you want to be like, whether you've just moved to a new town or not. There are four groups you should always have in your life and they are: 1. An all-men's group. This should be a group of men you get together with regularly. It could be an entrepreneurial group of guys who meet regularly or a mentoring type group. This group is important because it gives you a chance to grow your leadership skills. 2. A co-ed group. Once you have your all-men's group find a co-ed group. This could be a group of men and women who meet often to play some kind of sport or do another activity together. The web site meetup.com is a great place to find groups like these. This group is important because you'll have opportunities to learn and apply other diplomatic skills with both men and women. 3. Your show-off group. This is your next group to find after finding groups one and two. In the show-off group you're going to be showing off what makes you unique. Are you a great coder or great at cooking? A drummer, guitarist, aspiring comedian? That is your show off group. 4. A charity or community-focused group. Find a group where you can contribute to a charity or a community-based group. This can be as simple as attending an annual charity event, but it adds a richness and a depth to you, your social circles and your personality. So once you've got all four groups in your life, you can begin the "social sales funnel". There are some basic steps in the funnel. The first is to find people from your four groups you hit it off with. Then find opportunities to hang out with them. Thirdly add value to those opportunities, like bringing a good bottle of whiskey to a boy's night of poker. Finally get to know your new friends on social media and if they seem like great people, host a regular event and invite them (and have them invite their friends!). AJ and Johnny give us the full scoop on the social sales funnel, and creating the friendships and relationships you really want on this edition of The Art of Charm. THANKS AOC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Meetup The Art of Charm on Twitter Other AOC Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)!  HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177  Stay Charming!

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#7

Minisode Monday #67 | Dabbling: Not Just for Dilettantes

August 21, 2017 • 9m

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind author Dr. Srini Pillay rejoins us to talk about how we can benefit from the seemingly meandering path of dabbling to unlock creativity and make useful connections between disparate interests. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you're only looking forward and focusing on a task you've set out to tackle, your brain is only using a small portion of its resources. To access the rest, understand the power of dabbling. We need regular distractions from our primary course of action -- like hobbies. If you engage in a hobby for one hour a day, you can prolong life and protect your brain from dementia. Hobbies also trigger the brain's unfocused mode, which activates your creative circuits and helps you make connections you might otherwise miss. It was by this dabbling that Steve Jobs applied what he learned in calligraphy class to create fonts for Apple. This week, make sure to listen to Dr. Srini Pillay's full episode on harnessing the power of your unfocused mind and give some thought to how it can help you connect your own disparate interests. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-67-dabbling-not-just-dilettantes/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Cold Case Files, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#10

549: Penn Jillette | Presto!

September 20, 2016 • 79m

Penn Jillette (@pennjillette) is the vocal half of comic magician duo Penn & Teller and author of Presto!: How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear and Other Magical Tales. The Cheat Sheet: The role of flow (or autopilot) in high-level performing. Why Penn & Teller are constantly pushed and driven to innovate. Why it's important to question the things we want to believe the most. How tough love should play into the creative process when you're collaborating with someone you respect. Does moderation deserve respect? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/penn-jillette-presto-episode-549/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#11

384: Nick Onken | Turning Passion Into Profit

March 11, 2015 • 47m

Your passion will drive you. "You are the creator of your reality." -Nick Onken The Cheat Sheet: Nick shares how to find your why. Is there a formula to creating your vision? Why no idea is actually new, and why that's okay. Being successful all comes down to what? What's been the trigger for the biggest growth in his career? And so much more... Getting paid to do what you love is something all of us have dreamed of at some point in our lives. But why do some achieve that goal and others don't? And why do some artists have phenomenal careers and others never really take off? Nick Onken joins the show to share his thoughts and experiences on those very subjects. Nick is a world-renowned photographer who works with people like Jessica Alba and Usher. He shares the lessons he's learned about turning passion into profit on this episode of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: If you're passionate about something and want to create a business and an income from it would you be willing to invest 5 or 6 years to get there? That's what Nick Onken did and today he's a famous photographer working with the likes of Usher, Justin Bieber and Coca-Cola. But it did take him years to get where he is today. Over the last few years he worked as a freelance graphic designer and spent his days creating visual graphics for others. In his free time he perfected his photography skills, all the while keeping his eye on the prize of making a living with his art. On today's show he talks about how to find your passionate why, how to translate that into a vision of a business and some of the most valuable lessons he's learned on his rise to the top. Nick and I cover several subjects but two we'll highlight here are the importance of your inner circle (the people you spend the most time with) and raising your inner game. Who you hang out with, your inner circle, is one of the most influential factors in where you will go in life. If you have the right people in your life, people who are where you want to be, you will stay on track no matter what it takes. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and people you can add value to and inspire as well. Nick reiterates this on the show because it was an important factor for him. He also touches on the topic of raising your inner game or emotional IQ. In the 5-6 years it took him to build his business Nick found that he had a lot of self-criticism and self-doubt he had to face. And it was only by becoming aware of his own thoughts that he could do so. Everyone, Nick included, who has been successful has had these same thoughts and limiting beliefs, they've simply faced them and pushed through them. It's a normal part of doing something outside of your comfort zone, but you can get through it. Nick also talks about what separates those who succeed from those who don't, how to find your why, your vision and turn your passion into profit. Special thanks to Nick for being here, and thanks to you as well. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS NICK ONKEN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Nick know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Nick on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Nick Onken's web siteSHOPTalk, Nick's podcast Nick Onken on TwitterNick Onken on Instagram The Art of Charm bootcamps   You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)!  HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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#12

316: Gabriel Wyner | Fluent Forever: How To Learn And Remember Languages

September 19, 2014 • 49m

Hack Language Learning. "You get to meet different parts of yourself by going through the process of learning other languages." - Gabriel Wyner The Cheat Sheet: What is the European scale of fluency? There is such thing as the language gene: true or false? A simple language hack you can do at home watching TV. How to boost your retention by 40% and 50%. The first way to start learning a language: it's NOT the way we're taught in school. Why you don't need grammar drills. And so much more... There are people who are fluent in multiple languages: are they freaks of nature or do they have the "language gene"? Or are there tricks, tools and life hacks the rest of us can use to learn and remember foreign languages? Our guest today is Gabriel Wyner is the author of Fluent Forever, a book about how to learn languages quickly and how to retain them forever. Join us as we talk about his techniques for learning a language quickly and retaining it, what the tremendous benefits are to fluency, the obvious and not-so-obvious ones, and where to get started when you decide to learn a foreign language...and loads more! More About This Show: Even though Gabriel Wyner has authored Fluent Forever, a book on language learning, he wasn't always a language aficionado. He was a good language student in middle school and high school, but only in the respect that he tested well. He couldn't speak any language he learned outside of the classroom and after awhile, he had forgotten much of the vocabulary he had learned. In college, he double majored in Mechanical Engineering and Voice. He always wanted to be an engineer so he opted to go that route, but he also loved singing so he wanted to make that more than just a hobby. As a voice major, he had to learn to sing in Italian, Spanish and German. Not knowing a lick of German, his friend suggested he go to a school in Vermont called Middlebury and take a summer program. If Gabriel opted into one of their programs, it meant he had to speak the foreign language of his program for the entire time he was there. If he slipped up, he would be kicked out and would lose all of the money he had paid to be there. It sounded crazy enough to work, so he signed up and spent the next 7 weeks immersed in German. At the end of those 7 weeks, he was a B1 or a B2 on the European fluency scale, meaning he could order in a restaurant and carry on an in-depth conversation with ease. But that wasn't enough for him, he returned the following summer and earned a C1 certification in German. That certification meant he was fluent on the European scale; in Europe, if he had wanted to, he could teach in their school system and he could write an academic paper with ease. Even though immersion works, Gabriel realizes not everyone has time for that. Most of us can't take 7 weeks off and run to Vermont to learn another language! If you're like most people and need to learn a language within the confines of a typical life, he has plenty of suggestions for you in this episode. His first suggestion when getting started is to learn the pronunciation of a language. Train your ear to hear the words in that language, before you do anything else like learning the alphabet or colors or numbers. After you've trained your brain on how to hear the language, which will take about 2-3 weeks, then learn basic words. But here's a critical life hack to doing so: use images. And not just any images, use the Google search tool in your target language to learn the images associated with words. Often simple words mean something else to their native speakers. Once you've moved through those stages, then go on to learn the grammar. But all you need is your grammar guide, you won't need grammatical drills...Gabriel tells us why. One last tip he leaves us with is a way to expand our vocabulary and become fluent faster after we're speaking a new language. When you find you don't know a word, you can either revert back to English or you can use the other words you do know in the new language and get other people to help you fill in the blank. You'll have the added benefit of having learned something new from someone (and perhaps giving them a laugh in the process), and having learned while under a bit of stress which makes your brain retain it better. Please join me in thanking Gabriel for being on the show. He was a fun guest to have on. I loved that we debunked some language myths, gave you some life hack language-learning tools and generally set the foundation for the fast, easier way to learn and retain a language. Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS GABRIEL! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Gabriel know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Gabriel on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Gabriel's web siteFluent Forever, Gabriel's book Gabriel on TwitterAnki You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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#13

663: Chris Guillebeau | Side Hustle

October 24, 2017 • 66m

Chris Guillebeau (@chrisguillebeau) rejoins us to explain what a side hustle is and what a side hustle isn't as outlined in his new book Side Hustle: From Idea to Income in 27 Days. The Cheat Sheet: Understand why you don't need to be an "all-in" entrepreneur to have a side hustle. Learn how to take inventory of your existing skills and how they can be applied to your first side hustle. Wrap your head around what a side hustle is and what a side hustle isn't. Aside from generating a little (or a lot of) extra spending money, discover the other benefits of a side hustle. Figure out how to pick your best side hustle idea to pursue based on certain criteria. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/663/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Skip Netflix tonight and join the millions of students learning and growing on Skillshare today -- AoC listeners get one month of Skillshare free by signing up at skillshare.com/charm! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code CHARM at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#14

Fan Mail Friday #116 | There's Always a Bill

May 26, 2017 • 38m

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Once again, our beloved Gabriel Mizrahi rejoins us for this one. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible to have an honest, productive conversation with someone who thinks they're always right -- in spite of being your boss and constantly losing clients for your company? When the job you spent six years in school pursuing isn't hiring and you're considering other paths, might we remind you of skill stacking? [Related: Minisode Monday #50 | Skill Stacking for Top Performance and The Secret to Success? Be a Contradiction] How do you hunt for a job in a desired location that's thousands of miles away while ensuring prospective employers take your intention to relocate seriously? [Related: AoC Toolbox episodes and The 30-Day Social Capital Challenge] What is the difference between skill salad and skill stacking? While the science is still out, do you really need those Bluetooth devices on 24/7? This might be a case of better safe than sorry. Quick shoutouts to Jay Mohr and Owen Benjamin! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Bespoke Post is a subscription club for guys. Every month you get a box that revolves around themes like grooming, food, drink, and travel. Go to trythepost.com/charm and get 20% off your first box! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf116/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#16

366: Rich Roll | Finding Ultra and Rejecting Middle Age

January 14, 2015 • 43m

Small, progressive steps create lasting change. "I allowed myself to be imperfect and to fail."-Rich Roll The Cheat Sheet: Are you on The Window Diet? Junk food vegetarianism: what is it? Rich explains the problem with our "hacking" culture. What forges true character? How to master your monkey mind. And so much more... Allowing ourselves to be imperfect, to fail and to ask for help are not widely accepted in our culture, but they are key to creating lasting change and a fulfilling life according to our guest for today's show. Rich Roll is an ultra-athlete, podcaster and the best-selling author of Finding Ultra. Today he joins us to talk about his book, how he overcame addiction, created lasting, healthy habits and changed the mental story he was telling himself. We cover all of those topics, and more on episode 366 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Rich Roll is a man who doesn't do anything halfway, he admits to going "all in" when he commits to something and his history proves as much. He was a talented athlete in high school, becoming one of the best swimmers in his state and went on to pursue swimming in college at Stanford. But he went down the rabbit hole of alcohol and drug abuse, sidelining his athletic pursuits and his entire life. At the age of 31 he got sober and began repairing the damage he had done. It took him years to do so, but he eventually got back on track. By 39 he was on the fast track to becoming a partner at his corporate law firm in Los Angeles, he was building his dream home in Malibu Canyon and was a happily married father. On the outside everything looked perfect, but in reality he didn't feel fulfilled. He loved his wife, his family but those were the only bright spots for him. His work and his health were exhausting him, and something needed to be done. His first order of business was simply to experiment. He did a 7-day juice cleanse and gave his body a fresh slate to work with. From there he went vegetarian, and relied on his wife to be a sounding board and guidepost. She'd always been a healthy person so she helped him experiment to find what worked best for him. Originally he just wanted more energy to play with his kids, but Rich doesn't do anything halfway and he went on to become an elite ultra-endurance athlete and health advocate. He doesn't call himself an expert because he doesn't claim to have all the answers, he just shares his journey and his findings on that journey. And we go in-depth on many of those findings, including how to create lasting change and how to stop allowing the story we tell ourselves to run our lives. Rich has created long-term change, in any area of his life, through incremental shifts. He suggests making one change, like buying almond milk instead of cow's milk, and cementing that change before moving on to something else. Small shifts over time create habits, which last. The same holds true with the stories we tell ourselves. If we create a small shift by noticing our self-talk, over time we can become aware of how this self-talk and our own stories are running our lives. With that awareness we can shift out of our "monkey mind" and take the reigns of our own lives, instead of allowing our programming to run us. Rich and I also talk about inspiration vs implementation, what's wrong with our hacking culture and so much more. Have a listen to get all the insights and wisdom Rich has to share on this episode. Thanks to Rich for joining us and as always, thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS RICH ROLL! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Rich know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Rich on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Rich Roll's web site Finding Ultra, Rich's best-selling book The Rich Roll PodcastRich Roll on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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#17

Fan Mail Friday #55 | Fear of a Millennial Planet

March 25, 2016 • 31m

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. If you're new to The Art of Charm Podcast, this isn't a great place to start. Most of our content is more in-depth and longer format, so check out our Best Of picks or the Fundamentals Toolbox episodes. There, we've got the fundamentals of body language and nonverbal communication, attraction, negotiation, networking, and everything else we teach here at The Art of Charm. We'll send all of this to your inbox if you text CHARMED to 33444. And if you want to ask us a question by phone to possibly be featured in a future Fan Mail Friday, drop us a line at (415) 429-1915! In this episode: Should you be content with a so-called "good" career at a good company and stop complaining just because you're not using the skills and natural talents that make you feel alive? Do millennials really deserve most of the bashing they get from their supposedly wiser elders? As discussed recently with Gary Vaynerchuk, negative first impressions aren't set in stone. Just because someone doesn't like you now doesn't mean they won't warm up to you later. Do you ever worry if constantly doing the "right" thing is holding you back from experiencing life fully? What do you do when you don't drink, but all the dating advice you get tells you bars are the best place to meet new people? How do you not look like "the gay guy" when you're out on the town with a group of five or six women? Should an Army officer consider investing time in an advanced degree? Listener Xavier calls in [as you can too at (415) 429-1915!] and gives us some excellent advice and useful tools for people moving to a new town. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com or even, thanks to our friends at Burner App, leave us a voicemail or text at (415) 429-1915! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-55-fear-of-a-millennial-planet/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#18

Fan Mail Friday #86 | Doting on the Voting

October 28, 2016 • 29m

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: At this point, if you aren't aware there's an election going on this November in the United States until a celebrity or your favorite podcast (ahem) tells you about it, maybe you should just sit this one out? Robert Cialdini's Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion was exactly that for Jordan growing up -- an influence. But was it also an inoculation? (Incidentally, you should check out our episode with Robert Cialdini here!) If you're always the one reaching out to friends and family, is it wrong to feel ticked off when they don't check up on you now that you've moved away? Related listening from the AoC toolbox: Moving to a New Town (Episode 400) A listener asks last week's Passion or Paycheck question: "Can't you do both?" When the dynamic in a casual relationship changes, it's easy to wonder what caused it. It's harder to identify yourself as the possible catalyst. If you're a no-nonsense type who never looks back, would a permanent social media purge be an effective B.S. cutter, or a shot in the foot? Related listening: Cal Newport | Deep Work (Episode 515) Is it fair to pursue new relationships when you're still pining for your ex? Quick shoutouts to Jacob Brady-Walker and Asha (perhaps our youngest fan so far!) and Grumpy Old Geeks -- producer Jason DeFillippo's other podcast with new episodes every Friday! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-86-doting-on-the-voting/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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#19

376: Craig Wilkenson | Masculinity and What it Means to be a Good Dad

February 11, 2015 • 50m

You can be a good dad even if you grew up without one. "You don't have to play the man to be the man, you are the man." -Craig Wilkinson The Cheat Sheet: What are the three things that drive a man? What is the #1 thing a man must have to truly be a masculine man? The lesson we can learn about masculinity from South African elephants. Driven vs passion: what is the difference? Where does real charisma come from? And so much more…   Even if you aren't a dad and don't plan to become one, fatherhood and masculinity are incredibly important subjects. Why? Our guest for today's episode says UNICEF has reported absentee fathers are the single biggest issue of our time. Craig Wilkinson is the author of Dad and was a single father of two for many years. On today's show we talk about why fatherhood is so important to our understanding of what it means to be a man, and what we all can do as men to help raise young men into healthy adulthood. All of that and more on this edition of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Craig Wilkinson is the proud father of two, and fully admits to learning how to be a good dad along the way. The first moment he consciously took a look at his role as a father was after his young daughter had heart surgery. He requested to be in the operating room as she was given anesthesia and to be there when she awoke after surgery, his request was granted. Not long after he overheard his daughter talking to someone about her surgery and she told them her heart had been broken but her dad fixed it. He was struck by the power and magnitude of her perception and her experience. He wondered if he could really live up to her words, and then made a commitment to be that father to her and to his son. Although it hasn't all been sunshine and roses, Craig has figured out a lot along the way and we dive into much of his discoveries on today's show. We discuss what three things really drive a man, the biggest lies we're told about what it means to be a man and he shares his dadverbs advice we can all take to heart. According to Craig the three things that drive a man are a battle to fight, an adventure to live and a beauty to pursue. But if a man isn't given validation growing up he will become passive and opt to seek these drives through video games, porn or shallow relationships, or he may become an overly-aggressive and dominant alpha male or he may simply pose and pretend to be someone he's not in order to impress others. If men aren't given proper validation from an older male role model they will also grow up believing in the lies society tells us are true. The top lies told about how masculinity is defined are: how much power you have, how much money you have and how many women you sleep with. To help males grow into their healthy masculinity Craig suggests using what he calls "dadverbs", or dad-related adverbs. We touch on a few in this episode including to see and to bliss. To see is when a male role model sees a younger man as separate from himself, having his own passions and interests that may or may not be in alignment with the role model's interests. The masculine role model provides this by being engaged, talking, and spending time with the younger man. The other dadverb is to bliss, which is when older men validate younger men for who they are, what they are passionate and curious about. Doing so allows the younger men to feel they are strong enough and good enough to follow their own path. Craig provides much more insight on this fascinating topic, tune in to hear the full scope of his wisdom! Then join me in thanking him for being here. And thank you for joining us, we'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS CRAIG WILKINSON! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Craig know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Craig on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Craig Wilkinson's web siteDad, by Craig Wilkinson Craig on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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#20

402: Mike Fried | How to Buy a Diamond Without Getting Ripped Off

May 13, 2015 • 57m

You can save a lot of money and still buy a great diamond. "Nobody wants to spend more for less." -Mike Fried The Cheat Sheet: How diamond websites are shifting the industry like Zappos did with shoes. Are diamonds a dime a dozen? The 4 Cs: which of the four are most important? What does the term "eye clean" mean? The top two certification companies you can trust. And so much more... When you're shopping for an engagement ring you might think you're getting a great deal from a reputable buyer but how do you really know you aren't being taken for a ride? Listen to today's guest and you'll know for sure. Mike Fried has been in the diamond industry for nearly 15 years. He and his business partner run a web site that helps people buy diamonds without being ripped off. Today on the 402nd episode of The Art of Charm we talk about which of the 4 Cs are most important, whether or not you should really spend 3 months' salary on a ring and what certification companies you can trust, and which you can't. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show When Mike Fried first got into the diamond industry he was working on the wholesale side. The company he worked for helped jewelers maximize profitable - in other words they helped jewelers make the most money on any diamond ring sale. After 8 years he was tired of that end of the business and left. His now-business partner Ari came to him with an idea: why not create an online spot to help people buy the best diamond for the best price? Together they created Diamonds.pro. The concept is simple: they help you find the best diamond for your needs and then recommend several web sites where you can buy it for your budget. They earn a commission from the web sites, but that commission is paid by the sites and not an extra mark-up for you down the road. Their site provides education so you know what to look for and how to get the most value for what you're spending. On today's show Mike debunks many of the myths of the diamond industry like the 3 months' salary myth, the myth that diamonds are somehow more precious than other stones and that diamonds are actually not an investment; they are simply a commodity you're paying for, not an investment for the future. If you are shopping for rings you've probably heard of the 4 Cs: cut, color, clarity and carats. Mike says you can't get a "top quality" diamond that excels in all four areas. Instead you should focus on cut and carats. Get the best cut at the best size you can afford. How well cut the diamond is will be reflected in its brilliance and shine; and size definitely matters! People will notice how it shines and how big it is. Certification is also another tricky area. Mike recommends only relying on certification from GIA and AGS, those two are the gold standard of the diamond industry and you can count on their consistency and reliability. When they rate a diamond you can be sure that's what you're getting. He also says IGI and HRD are a step below, they're not as consistent. But avoid EGL, many jewelers are facing lawsuits because they sold poor quality diamonds rated highly by EGL. Mike also has recommendations on how to set your budget, why surprising your girl with a ring isn't the best idea and the truth about the cartel behind the diamond industry. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm. THANKS, MIKE FRIED! If you enjoyed this session with Mike Fried, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Mike on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Diamonds Pro website Diamonds Pro on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Try Squarespace (Free) and Support Our Supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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